* Collaborative reporting by various members of the Higher Ed Halfbacks
The Higher Ed Halfbacks began their final game of the season with an 8 on 6 numbers advantage, jumping to a 6-0 early lead on the Dumpster Scroungers. Similar to a season for the Cleveland Indians, this team showed signs of hope for next season, as late season pick-up Jen Grossman-Leopard scored the long touchdown run with her shake-n-bake moves.
It looked like the season finale would be a walk in the park for the crew from Rackley, but then the rest of the opposing team arrived, including league all-star “Gray Shorts” – that’s when things started turning ugly. Soon after their arrival, one of the Scroungers’ female players collided with Higher Ed buff-man Rodney Hughes, suffering a broken nose and ending her season early. But, Halfback Becky Ferguson later added insult (and injury) to injury by spraining her forearm in a collision with Gray Shorts. Not even Becky’s black and white striped lucky shorts could save her from the power of Gray. Showing true grit and devotion to the team, Becky stayed in the game and “celebrated” with the team at Damon’s before retreating to the emergency room.
In the last legs of his career, future flag football hall of famer Phil Blackman tried his best to place the team on his back. Team captain David Knight, fearing that the “Old Man” would not get the proper farewell, deferred to him all game. Reminiscent of what Lightning McQueen did for “The King” in the movie Cars, David designed a defense that allowed Phil ample opportunities to shine. Phil of course answered the call, not just once but three times. Unfortunately, unlike the young superstar last week who was able to turn the interceptions into touchdowns, Phil only made it halfway down the field before the old carburetor broke down. Typical of his showboat career, Phil of course took all the glory, forgetting the great pressure that the New England duo had placed on the opposing quarterback. When asked to comment about his teammate, the good Doctor Yin shaking his head said, “he don’t run like a Deere no more.” Phil’s description of the game summed it up: “I had an absolutely EPIC game.” When asked for comment, Captain David Knight quipped, “There is no I in team.” Halfbacks lose 20-6.












